“is rarer than hen’s teeth.” This statemeny was uttered by Don, a client who had recently moved to New York City and found me online. He was a self-confessed country boy, a “hick at heart.” I’m a city girl Manhattan born and bred. I wasn’t exactly sure if a hen was the same as a chicken and had no idea whether hens did or did not have teeth! I admitted ignorance, so Don explained, and now I know. For similarly challenged city folk, a hen is a female chicken, and neither hens nor roosters have teeth.
Pinning down the characteristics of a good therapist isn’t easy. Some would say it’s impossible, you can’t, but you’ll know it when you see it. The problem is that it takes time to feel comfortable with a stranger you will need, but not necessarily want, to tell your troubles to. And you won’t necessarily know it when you first see it. Here are some specific things to observe or inquire about in a first session. Does he or she:
- Have specific training in the particular issue(s) you bring
- Have State licensing
- Have experience helping clients with similar issues
- Seem relaxed
- Make an effort to put you at ease
- Have an agreeable office environment
- Convey warmth
- Express empathy
- Listen carefully
- Seem able to understand what you’re saying
- Seem to be accepting, non-judgmental
- Seem real/authentic
- Appear to have a sense of humor
- Offer to be accessible by phone, email, text etc
- Give you the feeling you could be yourself them
- Show interest in your strengths, talents, interests
- Explain how he or she works in understandable terms
- Appear to have a reasonably flexible approach
- Give you a sense of optimism and confidence
Though undoubtedly incomplete, this list contains many if not most of the characteristics a good therapist will have. Even with these items in mind, you still won’t necessarily know if a therapist is right after a first meeting, BUT you will certainly know if it feels wrong. At the end of the day, follow your gut, and you’ll probably be fine! Please give me a call at any time at 917-494-9600 .
